pre-awakening


1.

My childhood and life experience prior to awakening was always one of extremes.


At a very young age my parents divorced, they both went on to re-marry and again re-divorce.  This fractured family structure allowed the constant emotional and physical abuse that I received from my brother to go unnoticed.  My brother had an undiagnosed mental disorder and after continual criminal activities and drug use, he eventually took his own life; something I had been hoping for, for some time.  Over the next couple of years there would be another three suicides coming from two friends and another family member.  As a result, I would often drink, become violent and have run-ins with the law myself.


In addition to the above, I would experience chronic physical pain through-out the majority of my life; including headaches, back pain and near fatal Asthma.  I was also drugged and sexually assaulted by another man when I was working in Iraq.


Although the above seems rather dim; during this time I managed to obtain a degree in Aerospace Engineering.  I would go on to work in Europe, North America, the middle-east and south-east Asia in the aircraft, automotive and oil industries.  On paper I had a very “successful” life however a constant underlying discontentment was present; this would later serve to be the catalyst for profound insight.