awakening


2.

After the ending of my marriage I explored meditation to support me through this difficult period.  During my first guided meditation I experienced extreme happiness and boundless love.  Over the next several months I would have many blissful encounters, profound insights and out-of-body experiences which eventually led me to quit my job as a manager in the oil industry and live as a monk in a Buddhist monastery.


During this time in the monastery, through deep intellectual contemplation, it was understood that there was no such thing as personal Free-Will.  Outwardly this led to continuous, unbroken peace where there was no mental suffering experienced; no guilt towards myself and no blame towards the other; no regret about the past and no worry for the future.


Within a very short period, the teachings within the monastery were not satisfying and through the grace of a friend I was introduced to the works of Ramana Maharishi and Nisargadatta Maharaj; which then led me to Mooji.  As soon as I was aware that there was a living being sharing these direct pointings, I left the Monastery and planned my visit to see him face-to-face.


After leaving the monastery I had an awakening which instantly confirmed my intellectual understanding as well as the non-dual pointings.  I had the typical response of laughing and the sense that I was pure empty pristine Awareness – of course how did I miss this obvious reality!  My body got up and walked itself to the bathroom.  It was so clear that there was no personal “me” doing it; there was never a “me” doing any of this.


The Zen phrase, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.  After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water."  For me it was “before enlightenment go to the bathroom, after enlightenment go to the bathroom” haha!


As is the case for most of us, the experiential part of the awakening lasted for a short period of time.  But what was seen could not be unseen.  The illusion of ego and separateness had taken a significant blow.